A False Positive

Emi wakes up not wanting to go to daycare. But today is my day to get stuff done, I silently sigh. So I try to get a reason out of her why she doesn't want to go. Turns out she isn't feeling great, but she also talks about feeling sad when some of her friends don't want to play with her sometimes. We have a good chat and I give her some ideas on what to do when that happens.

Fast forward a couple of hours later, and we are having a picnic in her bed, with books and tea, while the baby sleeps.

Lately Emi has had to adjust in more ways than I can understand. Her new baby brother only eight weeks old has made her question her place in life and I have been way too quick to dismiss her on her journey. So thank goodness I had set myself a week-long challenge right before she had her sick day. The challenge was to make the most of EVERY situation by being proactive and positive both with my actions and thoughts. Why? Read on...

Being positive should be a beautiful, authentic thing. It should be about being proactive, not just spinning a web of airy quotes and sayings to make it seem like you are leaping from moment to moment. It has never been easier to appear to be something you're not in our digital age. So we need to be extra alert in this area. The positive talk has to go hand-in-hand with the positive walk. But more than that, the positive talk should be timely and not suffocating, and only support the walk if needed.

My motto is 'when in doubt, don't speak, just do!'

However, recently I have noticed a bad habit that has me speaking nonsense. Instead of digging deep and figuring out a practical way of dealing with various situations, I have very easily gone to this place in my mind where I believe I simply can't cope. I realised while I could spin off a positive mantra to help someone else out and encourage them in their journey, I was failing miserably in dealing with day-to-day life. 

One of the biggest areas that needed attention was with my kids. I had been silently saying to myself over and over "I can't cope", even though I could. I was just being lazy with my thought-life.

So I set myself this week-long challenge. In order to learn how to be more proactive with my positive vibe I was going to be positively positive; In every situation, no matter what, I was going to take each opportunity to turn the downers around. The most important change being my internal dialogue from "I can't" to "I can".

I am half way through this challenge and it has already forced me to be proactive with my thoughts, every day, in every moment. It has been the catalyst for some great moments of revelation and freedom in areas that I got comfortable ignoring. Especially whilst interacting with my beautiful daughter.

Emi ended up staying home two days out of her three from Daycare. And I made sure I was alert, ready for each moment, present to be proactive. So instead of struggling with my own intolerance and lack of patience, I found myself laughing more at the stuff that would tire me; I was more light-hearted and ready to make memorable moments rather than just survive through the day. And I got to give her some much needed attention. Yeah I got nothing done by way of chores, but I achieved a lot!

If I want to be high on life, I have to start giving it all I've got. I want to be that person who genuinely turns things around with practical and proactive thoughts rather than talking smack. I want my mind to be strong and fierce, fighting against those little negative niggles. It is easy to fight off the obvious ones... but it is those little, day-to-day thoughts that creep up and eventually wear you down, going undetected. So it is time to check in and make sure we are LIVING life rather than talking about it; reset our motives and make sure we aren't just appearing a certain way, but we are living out of a place of authenticity.

Would love to hear from you if you too have struggled with your thoughts in this area! Love Heids Xx
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Heidi Lakin

Heidi Lakin is a new mum to the beautiful Emera (born June 2012) and wife to best friend, Chad Lakin. Her story is not uncommon, having struggled for over 10 years with self-image issues that developed into eating disorders, depression, obsessive compulsive behaviour and anxiety. Her success in overcoming such perplexing battles is less common, which is why she founded Blussh - an online initiative that focuses on equipping women to find their sense of worth and committing to a life of freedom. Heidi has a vision to help women through such issues, but more importantly to help prevent poor body-image, self-doubt and everything that follows, in our young girls.