If you take a moment to stop and think about this journey we are on, you might come to the conclusion that it is a hard one. For those that conclude otherwise, I want to know your secret!
Most of the time, life is tricky... especially as you get older, have more responsibilities, become a parent perhaps, or run a business or even just maintain a job. It all requires sacrifice. Daily sacrifice. We are born to desire comfort and those feel-good feelings. Yet life often has a wildly different plan for us. Comfort isn't guaranteed and feel-good feelings are fleeting.
So my further conclusion along side this conclusion, is to find a way to rest in the resistance of life. Find a way to be at peace with the discomfort and the pain we might face. Find a way to enjoy the sacrifice. Hard, but much more rewarding than living in reaction to the resistance.
Lately I have been resisting the urge to flounder in some old wounds. Sometimes, wounds that have healed or are in that process of healing, can re-open and give you just as much pain as when they were first made, even though the skin is closed over. Ever heard of phantom pain? It is a legit medical thing... and I believe it is real also in our emotional worlds. We can feel the pain just as powerfully, sometimes more so, from a wound made long ago. This pain often comes by way of triggers. When we find ourselves in situations that remind us of the making of that wound, we can sense it all over again and find it hard to separate ourselves and behave rationally.
I am finally at a stage where I can recognise this, and actually talk myself through it, or process it without wallowing about in the pain and reactions that come with it. While that is super rewarding and makes me feel free, it is extremely draining. Because I am still in the healing process, so it can sometimes be a daily thing I am dealing with. Oh the resistance of life!
The most powerful thing I can do in those moments, is be at peace with the pain. Accept it all over again, understand it, and move on. Most often, forgiveness is a part of the healing process, and I find myself forgiving the thing that caused the pain in the first place, over and over again. It is hard to do first time round, second time round or third. It is hard to live in a place of loving detachment to those that hurt you. But forgiveness actually releases us from the clutches of the wound and sets us on a path of freedom. It takes away the wound's power.
There are several other things you can do to rest in the resistance. Acceptance is also a powerful tool, as mentioned above, accepting pain then gives you room to move on. But it is so important to move on, otherwise we get caught in that perpetual cycle of being a victim. Practicing rational thinking helps a whole bunch – thinking truthful thoughts, and not listening to the lies from past wounds will set you free over and over again. And one of the most important things I have found, is love. Bringing it back to love is my faithful 'next step' after acceptance and forgiveness. How can I function out of love, not fear? Love is what makes us see the beauty; love helps us turn the pain into something beautiful and worthwhile.
What resistance are you facing right now? How are you finding peace through it all? Do have some thoughts to add? Let us know!
Love Heids Xx