I was just having one of those moments, that lasts longer than a moment and sort of hangs about waiting for you to either be defeated by it, or, kick it to the curb and keep on moving, onwards and upwards!
And then Amy Poehler showed up and sort of handed me some boxing gloves and basically said "Heids, you can do this!"... Well not really but what she did say is this:
I am so glad I am one of those people who do take big swings and oh so often end up looking stupid! I was just thinking before I stumbled across this inspiring quote, that I am sort of hopeless at getting things right sometimes. And it was making me feel pretty down. You see, while I used to be so afraid to fail and often would fail so very badly because I believed that's all I was worth, I would do so as quietly and inwardly as possible. And trying to figure all that out, and work out how to fail in a healthy way and remain solid, and happy was a huge journey for me. To the point where now I fail very publicly. I sort of went full swing the other way and instead of hiding so no one would catch me out as a failure, I just let the light in and waited to see what would happen. And sometimes I freak out thinking, gosh what do people think, or who am I to think I can achieve all this?
There have been some cringe-worthy moments no doubt. And because I am a designer, and social media is so invasive, but also crucial for business and staying connected in the creative realms, it can be quite embarrassing to get it wrong over and over again, when you are publishing your work and putting everything out there for all to see. The fact that I can't present perfect in everything I do straight off used to haunt me so very much... Well now I am "trying" and "doing" with all my might and gosh am I presenting so far from perfect, but I know it is taking me somewhere rewarding and healing for the quiet, scared, shameful little girl I used to be (and sometimes still am).
There is so much competition out there in the big wide world. So many people trying to establish something. Sometimes we get more caught up in our own stuff and forget to encourage those around us, forget to really care... I mean seriously care for others. We are quick to judge before getting to know someone or hear about their story. Or we stop doing things of value and focus on shallow, unsubstantial social "moves" towards more likes, or the projection of coolness.
So thanks Amy for reminding me that taking a swing, and getting your hands dirty by doing things that matter, is worth more than sitting back for fear of failure, or fear of being uncool! Gosh I love that women! #leslieknope
Love Heids Xx