Let Go // & Run Free

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Have you ever imagined yourself in a field that stretches out into the horizon, with nothing in front or behind, to the left or the right; you only notice the elements, the serenity of your surroundings? You have left everything you have ever owned somewhere far away and completely out of the way. You feel weightless. No baggage, no cares; your hands are open, not grasping at money or possessions. Even the clothes on your back finally drop to the floor, and you suddenly feel the urge to just run. You feel the wind in your hair, the dirt under your feet, complete freedom.

After a while, you would start to feel the sweat drip down your skin and the uncomfortable chaffing of your thighs rubbing together (due to the lack of clothing situation), your feet would be cut up and aching, and your hair would swish and swirl into a matted mess. But it would be worth it! Even if it was just for those first few moments of surreal freedom.

I used to run to find that feeling. I have always been a long distance runner, and the feeling of running without a care in the world was addictive. The problem was, I would come home the same person as I left. The physical aspect of my life was shinning bright, but my character was riddled with worries, cares and negative mindsets. And no matter how hard I ran, I couldn't change it or fix it. 

One day I broke down. I couldn't take it anymore and the suicidal thoughts were not letting up. I knew I needed restorative help! I prayed my heart out for grace and wisdom to find the freedom I was searching for. Because as much as I tried, it was not in being skinny, fit or sexy; I couldn't find it in physical exertion, I couldn't find it in obsessive eating habits, I couldn't find it in popularity or performance, in achievement or perfection. I needed to be set free.

Over the years I figured a crucial truth out. It comes down to your motives. Action is good, but only if it comes forth from a positive and healthy motivation. 

For so many years my motivation was to be better than everyone else, or to be skinnier than my friends and family. My motivation was caught up in my performance and appearance. The day I started shifting that, was the day I felt freedom for the first time in a long time.

My journey towards freedom is ever evolving, because I never want to stop learning or being willing. But along the way I have come across some incredible nuggets of gold to help transform my life...

So I am introducing "Let Go & Run Free". A series of blog posts written by myself and some exciting guest contributors to inspire, motivate and impact your world for REAL positive change.

Instead of being inspired, we want the Blussh sisterhood to BE the inspiration. Now is the time to let go, now is the time to be free!

Stay tuned for more.
Love Heids Xx

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Heidi Lakin

Heidi Lakin is a new mum to the beautiful Emera (born June 2012) and wife to best friend, Chad Lakin. Her story is not uncommon, having struggled for over 10 years with self-image issues that developed into eating disorders, depression, obsessive compulsive behaviour and anxiety. Her success in overcoming such perplexing battles is less common, which is why she founded Blussh - an online initiative that focuses on equipping women to find their sense of worth and committing to a life of freedom. Heidi has a vision to help women through such issues, but more importantly to help prevent poor body-image, self-doubt and everything that follows, in our young girls.