For as long as I can remember I have feared failure. When I was little, I wasn't just scared of it... I was hostile towards it, did everything in my power to defy it. I used to believe that if I failed, I was worthless.
Somehow I had missed the memo that it is imperative to fail, not just to find success, but also, to remain sane and to acquire a love for self, for life and others.
As I got older, I entered into this weird vortex of perpetual failure. I would promise myself perfection, and set out to achieve the impossible, which only left me feeling debilitated and like I could never reach my own expectations (thinking they were in fact the expectations of those around me). So when faced with any sort of task, I would procrastinate and actually give up before I had even begun trying. I was an average student. I barely scraped through some of my UNI assignments. Now I know why.
I was unteachable, proud... And to fail had become my daily reality.
In my experience, the things you focus on are the very things that become your story. If you are letting your fears overwhelm you and hinder your every move, you are writing them into every page of your life. Fear can be a helpful thing, if you learn from it and let it propel you forward. But most of the time we let it entangle and overrun us.
All I had to do was try my best, and let myself fail and a whole new world of opportunity would have knocked at my door. How do I know that? Because that is my reality now!
Once I started re-training my brain to embrace failure, I began realising success was indeed within my reach. That scared me too. But I have learnt to accept this and use it to chase after what I love. If my dreams scare me a little bit then I know I have something to give, something valuable and worth all the pain I have experienced. Better to be focused on the fear of success than the fear of failure. But for me it is about letting the most important things occupy my mind. I had to shift the storage in my brain, letting fear only take up 10% rather than the 90% I was used to. And fearing something positive actually makes this easier; to put fear in its place.
We can't live without fear or failure, they are an inevitable part of life. But what we do with them is completely up to us!
Giving myself room to fail and learning from it has been one of the most liberating truths I have embraced. It is a commitment to freedom that has brought so much healing, restoration and motivation to my life. It teaches me humility and integrity; to be supple and soft but brave and courageous, true to myself and worthy of a purpose. It tells me that I am worth the time and effort to be shaped into something wonderful, out of the ignorant person I once was.
Let yourself fail. Make mistakes because that is what makes you great!
Love Heids Xx
You too can make a commitment to freedom, and chase positive change! We have prepared something for you, to help propel you towards a freedom-life, and leave behind the things that chain you up! Be the inspiration today.