I slowly walk away from the fight, and while I look worse for wear... a relentless replay of the events that occurred only moments ago dance in slow-motion across my mind. Disbelief washes over me... And for once I can't seem to wipe the smile off my face.
For once I threw the first punch. For once I put up a good fight. Scratch that, I put up a bloody good fight. I wasn't scrambling for defense when opposed. I was ready, I had the power, I was in control. And then it happened. The knock-out blow. Something I've experienced only too many times, but this was different. I wasn't on the receiving end.
This fight wasn't a punch-up in the literal sense, but required just as much physical and mental preparation. Have you ever gone up against your own thoughts? Sounds ridiculous, that something so unassuming could be so lethal! Oh but don't underestimate the power of the mind.
For many years I was under the impression that my thoughts were undefeated absolutes that I had no right to question. All the doubt, self-hate and belittling would launch knock-out blows at my reflection, and I had my hands tied.
I was weak, weathered and mal-nourished. Until I decided to question the power behind those negative convictions. Retaliation was inevitable, so it got worse before it got better. But it did get better.
Slowly I gained some strength, learnt how to throw a punch back, nourished myself with positive affirmations and got myself equipped. It was like I bought myself a pair of big shiny red boxing gloves.
It took hours and hours of training, prep, nourishment and more training until the day of the turned tables arrived - my first victory. Once I got a glimpse of glory, I was hooked. No longer was I going to let my thoughts beat me down. I figured out a strategy and kept mentally fit, making sure I turned my weaknesses into strengths. I fought back with drastic measures to undo the damage caused by years of defeat. I took every thought captive, retrained them until they were fit and trusted to go free.
It was important for me to visualise the fight, because the problem was primirily visual to begin with. I had a mental picture of myself, a perception that was severely warped. If I didn't envision putting on my big red boxing gloves and fighting for the health of my thoughts, than I would easily be consumed by the rival. I would often see myself roar like a Lioness, another most effective image to work me up for the fight!
Can I tell you that the hard work is worth it! The reward –a sense of capacity, a happy mind and a much happier life– is priceless! And the best part... It is like second nature to me now. My mind is configured to know when an intruder is lurking and acts accordingly, like a ninja. But it isn't always easy sailing. A well-oiled machine works well because it is well-oiled. Maintenance is key!
I encourage you today... Go to town on whatever it is that's holding you back, cramping your style, or just biting at your heals. Get your boxing gloves on and give it all you've got and you may surprise yourself with a knock-out punch of your own! But don't stop there. Put in the effort to defeat it for good! Grab a training partner who can keep you accountable... You don't have to do it alone.
Don't tolerate anything but the best for your thought-life. You are too valuable and life is too short!
Love Heids Xx