My Grass is Just Fine...

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Anything referred to as a green-eyed monster can't be good! Right? Then why are we [girls] so susceptible to this beast of emerald emotion? It is hard not to admit that we have all, at one moment or another, lost ourselves to the bitter dance of jealous or envious instinct. I most certainly have on numerous occasions. Sometimes we don't even recognise the beast, as it hides under our sub-conscious, waiting to pounce at any moment; usually at times when we ignore or turn a blind eye to our own feelings of discontent.

So we have all heard the saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side'... and if you haven't... it sheds light on a 'socially accepted' envious state-of-mind. People actually believe this saying holds truth and value for them, and they go through life always wishing for someone else's fortune. To be perfectly honest, I used to think the same way, always discontent with what I had! Not only is it a green-eyed monster, it is a hungry fiend, always looking for more fuel to fan the flames. Eventually you realise you can't beat it, so it holds power over your life; your happiness (or lack there of), purpose and ambition becomes subject to what you do or don't have.

I think jealousy is more than just a competitive streak. To be competitive (in moderation) is natural and healthy. It can drive us to be the best we can be. Jealousy is cut from a different stone... it holds no health benefits and rather than inspiring us to be better, it binds us up in resentment, often causing us to be hostile to those we are jealous of.

How do we deal with these overwhelming feelings of jealousy? The first step is to identify our emotions, come to terms with why we feel bitter or resentful. If we don't recognise our emotions, we can't manage them. Then it is a matter of changing our thought life! But it goes deeper than just, "I want what she's got" or "I wish I was skinny like her". If you really want to combat this demon, you need to re-wire how you calculate life. In fact do away with the calculator and stop trying so hard.

Start by doing the very opposite to what you feel. Compliment the person you begrudge, don't hold onto things so tightly, laugh at yourself – don't take yourself so seriously, and be grateful. Another antidote to envy is being generous. Buy someone a gift, and watch the green-eyed monster cower back into the corner. If you repeat these simple steps, eventually the monster will become obsolete.

Don't get me wrong though girls, the point isn't to never feel jealous (cause that is impossible, we aren't perfect). The point is to learn how to manage this emotion. Girls can be bitchy, outrageously insecure and anxious... So we need to make sure we make the right choices to stay on top. Don't let it control you. Be alert and continue to reflect on your emotions on a weekly basis. Ask yourself why you feel hostile towards someone, and if it comes down to a green coloured motive, then fight back with something more tranquil in nature. Learn to defuse and disarm the green within you. Look for the sunshine and calm blue sky!

Trust and believe in yourself, to know that you are worth the effort. You don't need to want what you don't have. You can enjoy yourself in the current state while still always striving to be the best you can be.

Love Heids Xx Xx