Is Offence Fencing You In?

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Life really isn't like a box of chocolates... Chocolates pre-warn you these days as to what flavours and ingredients you should expect to find inside the packaging. Life, not so much. Most of the time we don't even get the pretty wrapping.

Maybe that is why we tend to get our own hands dirty in an effort to package life's messy moments ourselves. Something that, I have come to realise, is a protective stance we all have ingrained in us. In order to feel safe, we create a framework around things that don't seem to go our way; if someone offends us, we waste time endlessly, circling through thoughts to justify our emotions of despair or anger even.

This is a pattern that sounds way too familiar for my liking. A 'stuck-in-a-rut' mindset of offence can never be good and only ends up hurting one person - the person holding onto the offence. Offence is sticky and prickly. If you hold it too long, it becomes fastened, really digging in, creating an open wound that isn't too friendly on the nose! Yep, it stinks! I have been there, done that. In retrospect, I understand the stench offence carries and cringe at the thought of being 'that' person.

Often we let things blow out in our own mind; inject drama into situations where drama isn't needed. I have been guilty of this on many occasions. It is funny how easy it is to blame someone for offending us, but when the finger is pointed to us, we feel so betrayed and hard done-by. In most cases, offence is covering up the real issue; perhaps something to do with our own feelings of insecurity.

I know how hard it can be to get out of that frame of mind when offence has moved into your heart. But I also know how incredible it feels to finally live in a place of freedom from offence - letting go of all those little things that get under your skin, and drain your joy. It isn't worth it. Life is too short, and furthermore, the world is not out to get you. Most of the time, if you have been offended, you probably have miss-interpreted someone's good intentions. Commonly, we all have fears that stop us from interacting with each other on a genuine level. That wall we put up when we feel slightly intimidated, uncomfortable, or unsafe, is the same wall you feel from others by which you get offended. We are all the same... trying to navigate our fears and protect ourselves. So maybe it is time to give the world a break, let everyone off the hook, expect good intentions and treat people as innocent.

Don't let offence get the better of you. If you are feeling offended about something, ask yourself the hard questions... Are you intimidated by that person? Do you feel insecure about something in relation to the situation or person? Get to the real issue and then work on dealing with that. A person free of offence is a fun, happy and attractive person to be around!

Love Heids Xx

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Heidi Lakin

Heidi Lakin is a new mum to the beautiful Emera (born June 2012) and wife to best friend, Chad Lakin. Her story is not uncommon, having struggled for over 10 years with self-image issues that developed into eating disorders, depression, obsessive compulsive behaviour and anxiety. Her success in overcoming such perplexing battles is less common, which is why she founded Blussh - an online initiative that focuses on equipping women to find their sense of worth and committing to a life of freedom. Heidi has a vision to help women through such issues, but more importantly to help prevent poor body-image, self-doubt and everything that follows, in our young girls.