It Starts With You!

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I can safely say that all we want is to feel loved. But this deep need usually gets miss-interpreted and therefore our judgement on what we think should fill this void becomes impaired. Love is something that every human being craves, needs and wants. But sometimes we feel like love -the love that is real and selfless- is rare. Why do you think love is so hard to receive?

Maybe because we find it hard to give!

Love starts at the very beginning - you! If you can love yourself then you can love others. I am not talking about a boastful kind of self-love, but rather a quiet confidence and respect for yourself. If you love yourself in a true form, you probably have a good understanding of what your body needs to stay healthy and feel good. You may also have really strong and healthy boundaries in order to protect yourself and others. You may be able to make wise and healthy decisions based on what is right for you without exploiting the needs of others. It isn't easy to love yourself - trust me I know. But if you do, then it is a lot easier to see truth within, most importantly when you are surrounded by glossy, simulated images of life.

I used to be more interested in the boastful kind of self-love (not really love at all... more self-hate). I was so in-ward focused and so afraid of imperfection that I drove people away. I had developed an unhealthy self-image. I cared more about controlling what I ate rather than sitting down and enjoying a relaxing meal with my family. I was so highly strung that people didn't want to be around me. Furthermore I put pressure on others to rise to my plastic expectations of life, which in return made people feel uneasy about being around me.

You may not be as extreme as this, but I know every woman struggles with a warped self-image at some stage in her journey. Becoming a woman and trying to figure out that woman - her values, her worth and perceptions - is so important to leading a healthy, love-filled life. Yet it is one of the hardest things to realise. So many girls grow up never understanding their worth and end up feeling loveless even as they grow old and perhaps have a family of their own. There might be moments of joy and love that visit them, but always end up leaving the same way they suddenly came in.

I have been living a love-filled life for almost 3 years now and I can’t tell you how much of a difference it makes, not only to your life but also those around you. People can tell if you have love in you or not.  Loving yourself is the only way to seeing and treating others in love. Instead of reacting out of fear or insecurity you can respond out of love, grace and confidence.

If you need more love in you life, start looking at the little things. How can you love yourself more each day. As hard as it may be, the rewards are priceless. Just take is one day at a time. Stop thinking those negative thoughts. Stop doubting yourself. When you make a mistake look at how this can help you, learn from it and learn to laugh at yourself.

Love Heids Xx Xx

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Heidi Lakin

Heidi Lakin is a new mum to the beautiful Emera (born June 2012) and wife to best friend, Chad Lakin. Her story is not uncommon, having struggled for over 10 years with self-image issues that developed into eating disorders, depression, obsessive compulsive behaviour and anxiety. Her success in overcoming such perplexing battles is less common, which is why she founded Blussh - an online initiative that focuses on equipping women to find their sense of worth and committing to a life of freedom. Heidi has a vision to help women through such issues, but more importantly to help prevent poor body-image, self-doubt and everything that follows, in our young girls.